Mercury Retrograde Returns a Character From My Past

Sometimes during Mercury retrograde, things go wrong. Plans go awry, communication breaks down, technology fails.

But that’s not all there is to the backwards shuffle of this powerful planet.

Mercury’s retrograde is also a time to revisit and reassess, to reconnect with your past or reverse old decisions.

Often that revisiting and reconnecting is with old friends or family – characters you may have thought were long gone from your life, re-appearing out of the blue.

I was watching for it, this time, hoping to see how this influence would make its appearance in my world.

There are not many people from my past that I would welcome into my open arms. That’s why they are in my past. So I watched with skepticism and a bit of wariness as the universe did whatever meddling it felt I needed.

And it’s true. Someone from my past has returned to me.

Shame is back.

How’s that for reconnecting with someone from the past?

Also, who knew those characters didn’t need to be people?

We used to be tight, BFFs even. Shame was my constant companion, the holder of the bar by which I measured myself, the mirror of soul.

And it was awful.

He was one BFF I was happy to cut free.

Who loves to be reminded, over and over again, of each of your failings, mistakes and imperfections? Shame is a master at it. And I have to tell you, if you’ve got a friend like that, it might be a good idea to give yourself some space from them.

That’s what I did. Years ago. And it was great.

But it turned out, when shame decided to come back, he snuck in like a ninja, and slipped into his favourite cozy chair.

It took me a long while to recognize him after all that time apart. He wasn’t wearing his hair the same way, and he’d learned that I’ll believe a whisper more willingly than a shout.

Oh, yes, shame had become clever, too.

What shame wasn’t counting on is that I’ve changed, too.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to face him. He had practically taken over the whole house by the time I saw who he really was.

And the most interesting thing happened.

I melted.

I felt compassion and love. They flowed through me. Flew out like butterflies to shame, to my heart, to all of the bits of me that shame was working so hard to dismantle.

My first act of love was this poetic post. My second, a submission to the 2013 Awesomepreneur Harvest of Heartwork that you’ll get to see November 18. My third, this very post.

This time around is going to be so different. Shame, I see you now, and I intend to love our way through this.

Shame, are you ready to dance?

This week there will be only one Shared Shaman’s Choice Session. No, it’s not because of my new visitor, shame. It’s because my husband and I are actually having a long weekend away! Finally! The next Shared Shaman’s Choice Sessions will be Monday Nov 11, Tuesday Nov 19 and Thursday Nov 21, all at 10:30 am Pacific time. We’ll be back to our regular Mondays and Thursdays after that.